My favorite odd couple had barely cleared the entrance door to the kitchen before I sensed from the grin on Peg's face that a lively conversation was just around the corner.
What, I wondered, has my lovable liberal friend in store for me today?
Conversations with Peg and Paul have been mentioned in previous columns. Peg, a dyed in the wool liberal, usually does most of the talking while Paul, A retired consulting engineer sits on the side lines watching his wife and me spar over the latest hot button issue. Despite their reciprocal conservative/liberal philosophy these friends, through mutual respect for each other, have made and enjoyed their marriage partnership over the long haul of life's trials and tribulations. Our career politicians in Washington and Harrisburg might do well studying this dynamic duo.
As I started preparing a fresh pot of coffee, my unexpected visitors took seats at the kitchen table. Peg, began rummaging through the oversize purse we have christened “Peg's Carpet Bag”. Paul, grabbed our favorite coffee cups from among the rag-tag collection I keep on the shelf above the sink and placed them on the table in front of Peg and me. When I asked him with my eyes what had Peg so excited, he just gave me a shrug of his shoulders. “ Beats me Lefty” he said out loud,“ all I can tell you it's an article she read yesterday and she's worn a smirk ever since.” “ O.K. Girl, lay it on me.”
I said with a silly grin as Peg removed the article from her bag and handed it to me.
“You and my darling husband have been taking anthropocentric global warming too lightly. Read this article and maybe you'll finally get it through your thick Pennsylvania Dutch skull that dire environmental consequences are just around the corner if we don't
act tout de suite.” Peg always did have a flare for French expressions even though she grew up and was educated in New York City. Tout de swite is fancy French for pronto while anthropocentric is just another way of saying, man made global warming. Liberals and academics ( synonymous?) do have a tendency of using two dollar words when nickel words would do, just fine.
Slowly I read the article that had a bold type, over-sized heading of The Washington Post:
“The Arctic Ocean is warming up. Icebergs are growing scarcer and in some places the seals are finding the water too hot, according to a report to the Commerce Department yesterday from Consulafft, at Bergen, Norway.
Reports from fishermen, seal hunters and explorers all point to a radical change in climate and hitherto unheard-of temperatures in the Arctic zone. Exploration expeditions report that scarcely any ice has been met as far north as 81 degrees- 29 minutes.
Soundings to a depth of 3100 meters showed the Gulf Stream still very warm. Great masses of ice have been replaced by moraines of earth and stones while at many points, well known glaciers have entirely disappeared.
Very few seals and no white fish are found in the eastern Arctic, while vast shoals of herring which had never before ventured so far north, are being encountered in the old seal fishing grounds. Within a few years it is predicted that due to the ice melt the sea will rise and make most coastal cities uninhabitable.”
As I finished reading the article a broad grin of satisfaction spread across Peg's face. Paul, standing behind me as I read, snatched the article out of my hand and slowly walked to Peg's side of the table as he removed his glasses. “ Put on my bifocals and read the fine print below the article, my dear wife.” Wearing his glasses,Peg began reading slowly: “ The above report by the AP was published in the Washington Post on November 2, 1922- over 90 years ago.”
“You're just trying to muddy the water Paul, the time for debate is long over.” she said with more than a little irritability in her voice. It was at that moment I recognized she had just affixed her signature to her Daily Liberal Contract.
Paul had inadvertently backed his soul mate into a corner where she'd have to defend her thesis against an opposing view, a no-no in the Land of The Liberal. In that land it's perfectly acceptable to demean opposing points of view but when your opponent parries your thrust, a liberal cuts off debate with pet cliches like, “ The overwhelming body of evidence” or, “ The vast majority of the scientific community”.
Strange, in my world of pragmatic reality I keep bumping into a growing number of people with impressive scientific credentials who support empirical evidence, rather than flawed computer models, in the global warming debate. This evidence points to nature, not man, as the lead player in this heretofore muzzled controversy. However, It was time to play gracious host.
“Peg, the coffee's ready. Let's take a break and catch up on family news.” A warm glow returned to Peg's face. Paul just flashed me a brief clandestine smile. We have both learned how to handle Chicken Little.
Stratton Schaeffer is a retired consulting engineer and farmer who lives on Joe Hill.