I regularly get e-mails from a fitness professional named Jill Coleman and one of her areas of expertise is mindset training. What does your mindset have to do with health? In some cases, everything.
She is a very confident, strong person who coaches other professionals in the area of positive thinking and taking responsibility for life. A positive mindset is exceedingly important if you are going to be independent and successful. It takes quite a bit of self-confidence to branch out and explore a new path, especially if you are getting negative feedback from others. A measure of self-confidence is healthy and positive.
But, what if you don’t self-confidence or a positive mindset? What if you are someone who has always been held back by fear – real or imagined? What if you have no real support system, or what if your only support system is faulty? What if you are constantly bombarded with negative words from someone? This situation can seriously impact your health too, but not for the better.
This past week I have experienced first-hand how self-doubt, lack of self-confidence, and a faulty support system can lead to disaster. Last Sunday my younger brother was killed in a violent car crash. The worst thing was that it could have been prevented by the people he considered to be his friends; his support system.
Many people today – teenagers to adults - suffer from low self-esteem issues and depression. These people often never really show that on the outside, but there are little cues that often in hindsight, were there. Unfortunately, in my brother’s case, few people really knew (including me) what mindset he had.
It takes a very strong person to be in a negative situation and be able to think clearly enough to make a plan to get out. (That is why Jill Coleman gets lots of people to pay for seminars on mindset.) People often get so low and have such a lack of confidence in themselves that they can’t see the way out to something better. Being in a place where all the people who supposedly care about you are the ones who are keeping you down is not a good situation. The longer this goes on, the more you believe their negativity and now can see no way out of this. So you stay and feel miserable and worthless. This is an obvious drain on mental health, but physical health is adversely affected too. Chances are that there are other negative habits, like smoking, overeating, alcohol abuse, drugs, etc., and just a general lack of caring about yourself.
I am writing this because I know that my brother is not the only person that has ever been in a destructive relationship. Many people are subject to abuse – mental or physical – by the people who are the closest to them. Please, before it is too late, look at your situation and if the people closest to you are not loving, supportive and encouraging positive behaviors, get help immediately. You are worth it, even though you may not believe that now. The people who keep tearing you down are the ones who are in the wrong – not you. It may take years after a destructive relationship to realize that, but it may save your life.
Had I known what was going on in my brother’s life, I may have been able to say or do something to help, but now I’ll never get the chance. He had people he thought were friends drag him down mentally, encourage destructive behaviors and purposely provoke him. What true friend would get someone drunk and challenge them to drive a car that was built for racing?
True friends look out for each other, bring out the best in each other and would never try to hurt each other. Again, I beg you, for your health’s sake, take assessment of your relationships and see what your mindset is. There is help and hope, and no one deserves to end up like my brother.
The Canton Fitness Center wants to encourage you to “Believe in your health – We do!”