Mothers are unbelievable from day one. Attachment between children and their parents is one of the most important aspects of family relationships. Attachment is viewed as a normal, necessary ingredient of emotional health.
So, how does attachment take place? Of course, babies seem to know how to do a dance of smiles and coos with the parents to help make the new partnership work. However, it is mom who plays an almost unbelievable part in bringing about the successful attachment of a child.
Formby (1967) tape recorded the sounds of 31 newborns, then played them for eight new mothers 48 hours after delivery. All eight were able to select the cry of their own infant! Additional research found that when mothers in a hospital maternity ward were awakened in the night, it was most likely to be the cry of their own baby. In fact, after the third night in the hospital, 22 out of 23 waking episodes were in response to their own babies! It looks like the lion's share of the credit for attachment goes to mom.
One would think that if children become securely attached to their parents they might also become overly dependent and clinging; however, the outcome is just the reverse. Mary Ainsworth (1979) discovered that infants who are securely attached use the caregiver, or mother, as secure base from which to explore the environment.
They can move away from her freely. The securely attached infant can even trust the caregiver to leave or go to another room. When the caregiver returns, the infant is glad to see him or her. Healthy attachment can be described in terms of "I know I can trust you wherever you are," than as a dependence.
Insecurely attached infants, by contrast, show heightened separation anxiety when the parent leaves the room. When the parent returns, rather than being happy to see him or her, the infant shows ambivalent behavior, as if to say, "if you're going to leave me like that, I'll just push you away when you come back."
Here is the payoff, securely attached children find it easier to launch out from the safety of their parental security and make many more new relationships. They are better able to be separated from their parents for periods of time because they trust the bond.
This is why the securely attached child of a working mother can fare very well. It is the bond that makes the difference.
We have all been around poorly attached children whose mothers never leave them; increased time alone will not do the job. The good news?
The majority of infants are securely attached! Thanks Mom; Happy Mother's Day!