Mary Williams was my paternal great-grandmother. Mary was born in 1870 and grew up on a plantation in Maryland. Because of her longevity, her life overlapped considerably with my own. It was from grandma Mary that I first learned about plantations, slavery, and the civil war. Mary told stories about her brothers fighting in the civil war, killing snakes in the gravel pit, and visits from former slaves who had helped to raise her. As a young woman she recalled that the former slaves would walk from the farm in Maryland to her home in Philadelphia where she lived with her young minister husband. She was born on the heels of the Emancipation into a world where salves were still not all that emancipated, onto a farm where her parents had actually owned slaves.
As an older woman, Mary lived with my paternal grandmother, Edith Marple. On our frequent weekend visits, we children slept in the attic, ate from willowware using silver spoons that each had the head of a different president molded into the handle, and engaged the two grandmothers with constant inquiries about an ancient time in which we were not even alive! Grandma knew how to fix cereal better than Mom; she put the sugar on after the milk; so that, it didn't melt and disappear. I still want milk in my tea --just like old Grandma Mary.
My office is empty these days –just me and sometimes Gloria (Mrs. Marple); but, twenty-three years ago my, then, six-year-old granddaughter, Gabrielle, would have been here beside me practicing her ABC's and spelling on my old IBM-XT computer. Gabrielle and her little brother Kayle spent a great deal of time with me here in the office in those days. Their mother worked as a school teacher and that was just part of our "extended family solution" to child care. According to the Department of Labor, sixty-one percent of all mothers with small children work full or part-time. The fact is, mothers have always worked at something. Back when mothers were in the barn or field it was not unusual for grandparents to care for the children. Extended family played a large role in the child care of the past; so it is, in our family we went backward to get to the future. As far as I'm concerned a little more of grandpa and grandma doesn't hurt kids a bit. Whose idea is it that the phrase "Will you watch the kids?" is, somehow, new?
Extended families can include close friends, aunts, and uncles, as well as grandparents. Researchers have discovered that the broader base of support provided by the extended family leads to better school achievement, improved psychological adjustment, and positive outcomes for children. In the Bible, Paul credited the qualities of young Timothy, in part, to his grandmother Eunice (2 Timothy 1:5). It looks like we all may have to go back to the past in order to get to the future! Anyway, when all is said and done, if what you write or figure in the office turns out to make no sense, you’ll have an excuse –you’ve been watching the grandchildren. No one should be expected to turn out really good work and watch grandchildren at the same time.
By the way, Gabrielle is married to husband Ryan and a graduate of Mansfield University; she worked her way through as a waitress. Kayle graduated from Penn State University --working his way through on a pitching scholarship and is married to wife, Delanie. My little bit of input didn’t hurt the kids a bit. Families and friends can solve modern day problems without women having to pay the entire price –if they work together.