Parents always want to raise their babies in the best possible way. In the past 100 years, there has been no shortage of experts to tell them how. Mostly, new moms and dads are a little sensitive about getting much advice from their parents. After all, when these young folk look at the disastrous results of their own parents' potions upon them, why would they want to repeat such a fiasco? Since it is not totally unusual for children to think of their own parents as well-meaning, bumbling fumblers, the obvious place to turn for advice is a book.
Books are great! For one thing, books don't have feelings; you can disregard their advice and they won't even know. Perhaps the most important thing about books is that they are always written by experts. Every new baby deserves the advantage of an expert. While books may not be dumb, they are deaf; so there is never a need to reply to a book.
Then, let the book reading begin! In 1900 the editor of Ladies' Home Journal wrote, "Love, petting and indulgence will not hurt a child if at the same time he is taught to be unselfish and obedient." In that period (known as the Victorian period) babies were paraded around in long, lacy dresses with lots of ribbon, while they rode in plush, upholstered, wicker carriages with big wheels. Today's sleek mom sports her baby about in a super high-wheeled, lightweight racing carriage, while she herself wears running shorts and a sweat band. The new style buggy looks for all the world to me like a backpack slung between the wheels of a Mother Earth News garden cart. I suspect the former was a statement of pure culture, while the later is a statement of vitality, youth, and bare-boned sophistication.
By 1917 things had flip-flopped entirely as Good Housekeeping reported, "The old-fashioned mother, who dressed her baby to look pretty and who kissed it and cuddled it and let others make love to it has passed. The modern mother is strict, hygienic, well trained and rule abiding." Rigid eating and sleeping schedules were adhered to. Potty training was to begin at 3 months. How? Hold the infant over a chamber pot "at exactly the same time every day." I bet some parents waited a long time --well, maybe not.
In 1929 Dr. John Watson's advice was carried in a government publication, Infant Care. Watson encouraged moms to start potty training at three weeks rather than three months. According to Watson, "Mother love may inflict a never-healing wound" on children. Watson boldly advised, "never hug and kiss them, never let them sit on your lap; be objective and kindly firm." While Victorian moms tried to instill good behavior by rewarding it, the strict, no-nonsense approach of the 1920s advocated punishment as the best means of raising kids. That, of course, was eventually challenged by Spock in his popular book Baby and Child Care. Spock took us "full-circle," back to the genteel days of 1900 again.
What is clear is that each new childcare book seems to be written as a reaction to the previous one. Each new generation is quite sure its parents didn't know what they were doing. Even so, one thing we all do have in common is: It has never been a problem to raise children "by the book." The question is, "Which book?" I suppose babies and children must forever endure these adult fads. I recall balancing eight-month-old Mackenzie on one knee and eight-month-old Dallas on the other, while making silly noises. I've been oblivious to the fads for some time now; I'm a grandfather --senility has already done its grand work in my naive brain. There are no rules for us grandparents; we can do whatever we want. Come to think about it, don't I have a picture around here somewhere of Jesus bouncing a couple of little kids on his knee? I'm sure I'm right on that. Then Jesus called for the children and said to the disciples, "Let the children come to me. Don't stop them! For the Kingdom of God belongs to those who are like these children” (Luke 18:16).