Ed lived at the far edge of Crown Zellerbach land in the state of Washington, about 20 miles north of the Columbia River. His small holdings were at the dead-end of the last logging road that led out into the great Washington forest. It was one of the few properties not owned by the big logging companies, or the state, or the national government.
Ed Millsap lived entirely alone in his eight-by-twelve-foot cabin. The cabin contained a single bed, a chair, and a wood stove. As a minister in Wahkiakum County, Washington, I was able to visit Ed about twice a year. Whenever I visited, his single bed became a sofa for me, while Ed sat in the chair next to the stove. It took most of the day to visit Ed --an hour to get out to his place, four or five hours to visit, and an hour to get back into town. Ed was one of the loneliest people I have ever met; yet, he only walked into town once a year. Though Ed missed the company of people, he also found it hard to connect with them.
There are many things that make it difficult to connect with others. Some people lack confidence, while others have had bad experiences and simply retreat. Still others refuse to forgive. In addition, there is an entire group of psychological disorders known as personality disorders --which would be no problem if it were not for the fact that they affect how we relate to others and therefore cause distress for both them and us; thus, effectively driving folk apart. There are many paths that lead to loneliness.
Loneliness is one of the first subjects of the Bible. "And the Lord God said, `It is not good that the man shall be alone" (Genesis 2:18). It continues to be a major theme for many of our songs, such as: "I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry," "Only the Lonely," "Are You Lonesome Tonight?" and "Lonely Street Hotel."
All meaningful human existence requires relationship. It begins for each of us as tiny babies. Psychologist Erik Erikson identified the first human task as learning to trust. Trust connects a helpless little baby to his or her parents, as the baby is supplied with food and comfort, and exchanges meaningful touches with his or her parents and others. Children who do not learn to connect with and trust others have a difficult time connecting with and trusting God later in life. Children who learn early-on how to relate to and connect with others will rarely be lonely.
Relationship is an important dimension of Christian experience; all spiritual activities involve relationship. The Lord walked with Adam and Eve in the cool of the day, Christ is seen as married to the Church, and the Lord's supper is called communion. Jesus hit the psychological nail square on the head when he said, "The greatest commandment is to love the Lord your God, and your neighbor as yourself." Love is always a remedy for loneliness. While the Bible does identify loneliness as the first and primary human crisis, it is a curable condition.
Now then, if you're ever out in Washington State, just follow the Elochoman River north out of Cathlamet. At the headwaters of the east branch you'll find old Ed Millsap's cabin --I'm sure he'd appreciate the visit. Let's see, Ed would be 120 years old by now.