Centuries ago, Christian weddings were only allowed in a church. The Bride and Groom dressed in a specified clothing so they could be recognized by the invited guests. But the bridesmaids were dressed in clothing similar to the bride and the ushers were dressed almost exactly as the groom.
The Strange Things About our World
Centuries ago, Christian weddings were only allowed in a church. The Bride and Groom dressed in a specified clothing so they could be recognized by the invited guests. But the bridesmaids were dressed in clothing similar to the bride and the ushers were dressed almost exactly as the groom. The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day, the kids came back and, one by one, began to tell their stories.
There were all the regular types of stuff: Spilled milk and pennies saved. But then the teacher realized, that only Janie was left."Janie, do you have a story to share?""Yes ma'am. My daddy told me a story about my Mommy. A teenage boy had just passed his driving test and inquired of his
father as to when they could discuss his use of the car. His father said he'd make a deal with his son. "You bring your grades u p from a C to a B average, study your Bible a little, and get your hair cut. Then we'll talk about the car." The boy thought about that for a moment, decided he'd settle for the offer, and they agreed on it. After about six weeks his father said, "Son, you've brought your grades up and I've observed that you have been studying your Bible, but I'm disappointed you haven't had your hair cut." The boy said, " You know, Dad, I've been thinking about that, and I've noticed in my studies of the Bible that Samson had long hair, John the Baptist had long hair, Moses had long hair, and there's even strong evidence that Jesus had long hair." Dad's reply! "Did you also notice they all walked everywhere they went?" Sage Advice As you mature and get older you will learn that you still have a lot to learn and if you keep your mouth shut they all will think you're a lot smarter than you are. Sage "Pun"-ishment
1-The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi. 2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian. 3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still. 4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption. 5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery. A Nice Clean Joke To Tell At Your Next Party
An old geezer, who had been a retired farmer for a long time, became very bored and decided to open a medical clinic. He put a sign up outside that said: Dr. Geezer's clinic. "Get your treatment for $500, if not cured get back $1,000." Doctor Young was positive that this old geezer didn't know beans about medicine and thought this would be a great opportunity to get $1,000. So he went to Dr. Geezer's clinic. Here is what transpired. A preacher of renowned influence, decided to influence his congregation. He believed that women today were overdoing their body changes with medical intervention. He decided to come at the problem by telling a story. This was his story:
A middle aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God she asked “Is my time up?” God answered, “No, you have another 40 years, 2 months and 8 days to live.” Once a year "The Darwin Awards" come out listing the most stupid events of the previous Year.
The Top Award 1. When his 38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, CA would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked. And now, the honorable mention 2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine. He submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company, expecting negligence, sent one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and also lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved. Let's take a good look at our country since we elected Obama.You be the judge ...
• Our Phones – Wireless • Our Money - Valueless • Cooking – Fireless • Cars – Keyless • Food – Fatless-Tasteless • Tires –Tubeless • Dress – Sleeveless • Youth – Jobless Back in the thirties when "THE Sage" Started school,all the teachers had the same first name. It was "SISTER". They all dressed the same way and their last name was someone's first name. They all live together in a big brick building next to the school called "The Convent". The first one I met,was Sister Joan in Kindergarten. The boys sat on the right side and the girls on the left side. How To Make New Friends
In my efforts to keep all of you up to date on what is going on out there in the nutty, crazy, criminal, insane world outside our safe,sound,isolated area of the world, referred to by all the bad guys and those who refer to us as "Those Endless Mountains Country Folks." The Job Interview
A policeman was interrogating 3 blondes who were training to become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first blonde a picture for 5 second and then hides it. "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?" The first blonde answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!" Warning Signs
Sean is the vicar of a Protestant parish in The Bronx, New York and Patrick is the priest at the Roman Catholic Church across the road. One day they are seen together, erecting a sign in front of the Protestant Church which says: Sage Quotations
Here's what some famous people had to say about those that choose politics as their vocation: • Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other. -- Anonymous Kids Say The Darndest Things- Part II
6. When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the shower. She said, 'Mummy, you are getting fat!' I replied, 'Yes, honey, remember Mummy has a baby growing in her tummy.''I know,' she replied, but what's growing in your hinney?' |
Local ColumnistsFind articles by date or topic through quick links below. Categories
All
Archives
March 2020
|